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February 12 Is Hell Other People? InsomniaJean-Paul Sartre famously wrote, "L'enfer c'est les autres". For you non-French speakers this means (roughly): Hell is other people. This was uttered in a magnificent play, "Huis clos" or "No Exit". The "protagonist" is stricken with no eyelids during the play. He cannot close his eyes and hide from the gaze of others. It is their constant surveying of him, his morality, his well-being, his disposition, that he cannot bear. To be in the constant gaze of others is a kind of hell. I don't believe Sartre got it completely right. But, there is a practical truth in what he says. Make enough friends and you'll learn that they can often be the source of the greatest hurt. On one occasion of being betrayed by someone, I was so angry with myself for letting my guard down, for allowing myself to be so vulnerable to the deception or attach from a friend. I got burned, and at the end of the poem is a futile vow to never fall under the fatal sleeping spell of friendship. Despite our best attempts, we end up trusting people again, and we get hurt sometimes. Hopefully, we one day realize that we are at greater risk trusting no one than trusting and getting hurt. Here's the poem in the harsh simplicity of my hurt. Insomnia I had a dream In vicious technicolor The actors all knew Just how to hurt each other It seemed so innocent The laughter seemed to flow The cuts grew only deeper We pretended not to know The smiles were always false The kindnesses were lies Thoughtfulness was poison Trust and loyalty were spies The end had to come I somehow always knew We slept and we dreamed My how the time flew I'm awake now I refuse to sleep again Hell is other people The Devil is a friend I'm awake now Only fools fall asleep The weary walking wakeful Have secrets they must keep I'm awake now I'm awake now I'm awake now I'm awake now I'm awake now And now, And now And now, And now And now, And now And now, And now Now, Now, Now Now, Now, Now No.... February 10 Freedom SongThis is another rock song my sons and I play. It usually gets a good reception. It's called "Freedom". I had not conscious agenda when writing this song. I never intended it to be political in the least. For my part, it's not a song about the Iraq war or anything like that (some have suggested this). It's about something else-- you'll figure it out.
Freedom We chase the night to find We're out of sight, not out of mind We know it's time for a change We'll take a stroll on the firing range
Can't hold my thoughts tonight Can't hold my thoughts tonight Can't hold my thoughts tonight Can't hold my thoughts tonight
Come lay your cares on me Sand in my eyes so I can see We'll chase the dawn then we'll sleep We'll shed our dreams, buried deep
Can't hold my thoughts tonight Can't hold my thoughts tonight Can't hold my thoughts tonight Can't hold my thoughts tonight
I felt your touch, your space The shape of the moon, your face
We'll bleed our lives into the sun Who knew dying could be so fun? Now that we've lost all we'd won We'll shout our freedom from a gun
Can't hold my thoughts tonight Can't hold my thoughts tonight Can't hold my thoughts tonight Can't hold my thoughts tonight February 09 Little BirdsCandles melt down But we remember the light We welcome the dawn But we treasure the night Our dreams scatter like birds And our fears hunt them down
---- I wrote this in July last year (at 3:38 pm) while sitting at my desk at work.
February 05 Raw Dump of Music I've Listened to in the Last 24 HoursHere it is in chronological order:
February 02 Wounds, Myths, and RealityBreak enough bones and they begin to really speak to you. I listened all through the night and arrived at this thought which I won't bother to explain.
"Behind every Wound is a myth that bears the burden of being true." |
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